I’m not sure what it is with me or if this is normal but I can go from feeling pretty down one day (yesterday) to being totally optimistic, positive and gung-ho the next. Today, despite waking up with a massive headache I was in a totally different head-space. Anyone who’s been a avid follower of this blog has probably noticed a trend in my state of mind. Like a frick’in roller-coaster.
Ok, lets try getting inside my head for a bit shall we?
My parents were two completely different souls. I love them both dearly and each were amazing in their different ways but as I spend these long hours alone with my thoughts I start to see patterns and reasons for certain ways that I think. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming anyone for anything, these are simply realizations.
My mom (an interior decorator) was a creative nutcase like myself. As a child I’d wake up in the middle of the night to find her refinishing a piece of furniture or working on some decorative idea she had. She was always supportive of my creative endeavors and much more whimsical than my dad was.
Dad was a little more straight lined. Things had to be planned, have a purpose. You didn’t run off on a road trip with out a plan and especially without enough money. You worked and saved and did things the proper way. To be fair he did support my creativity in his own way but a lot of the time I think he may have thought that I was going to grow out of it. After he passed away I found out from my mom that he once wanted to start his own trucking company, Stadler & sons.
So with that little bit of insight it’s a little bit more obvious to me that I have these two sides to my emotions and thoughts, add to that the fact that I’m a damn Gemini and well,… I think you get it.
So as you read my daily ramblings keep in mind that if I’m in a mood like yesterday, chances are I’ll be on top of the world tomorrow. Are these signs of a manic-depressive? Hopefully I don’t need medication, I don’t think I could handle the nausea, heartburn, diarrhea, indigestion, drowsiness, blurred vision, heart palpitations and whatever else comes with “happy pills”.
In addition I’d like to say that the last year or so I’ve been trying really hard to be a more positive, pleasant person. Before that I had a dark spell and was pretty cynical and bitter. I don’t find it difficult to curb those attributes but I do find it a littler harder to be positive and optimistic more of the time. This is actually work. The thing is, I like the feeling when things come together on those days that nothing can go wrong and even if it does it’s not a big deal. Tonight I was out shooting in the rain and loved the shots I was getting.
Anyway, I had a good day. Took it at a slow pace and did my thing. Had a much needed coffee at the American Flyer Coffee Shop, treated myself to a decent meal at The Country Pines Restaurant (which wasn’t much more than fast food would have been) and now getting some domestic duties done as I’m writing this from a laundromat. Tomorrow I have plans to explore some of the area around Williams and perhaps move on to Flagstaff. I have to drop back into Winslow in a few days as I have a couple things to pick up there. After that it’s more Route 66 and the Grand Canyon, a sight I have yet to see.
Goodnight from the road, thanks for reading.