Today turned into a lazy unproductive day. Apparently between my mind and body I needed to shut down for more than the standard 7 hours. I awoke at 10am with a serious headache, wishing I had at least had the corresponding fun last night to warrant such discomfort but that wasn’t the case. I got up, fed my room mate’s cat, grabbed a few Advil and went back to bed. Fast forward to 5:06pm after an undisturbed sleep with a few vivid sections of odd dreams I was awake, anew and wondering what the hell I’ve been doing to render me so exhausted.
I have a way of chastising myself when a day is “wasted”, which is also part of the reason I have such a problem going into a job only to warm a chair to acquire a paycheque. I need to be productive and to be honest am counting the days to which I can be out doing what it is I’m supposed to be doing. The denial of that is chipping away at my soul constantly. A friend of mine shared this poem by Charles Bukowski that totally nailed my feelings of as late. Dealing with the day to day “swarm of trivialities” in this temporary existence I’m living in is in short, the equivalent to inviting a vampire to drain me dry of all my life force. Obviously I’m not naive to the fact that no matter what I’m doing in life there will be things that drive me bonkers but when they are related to a more self chosen path, they always seem less of a burden, smaller demons I guess.
This all said, I sit here inspired. I wrangled myself together, have enjoyed a cherished hot coffee and long hot shower, (where I find myself looking inward a lot). I know I have a lot of preparation to do for my next adventure and while I suffer the trivialities of this common existence I also realize that the time will move quickly in comparison to what needs to be done. So with that I’ll get to doing some of the small things I can accomplish tonight. More research on places to go to, things to see and shoot, stops I will make when I’m free of this temporary refuelling stop.
It’s just a matter of time before I’m back on the road and there is a possibility (due to a potential opportunity that I will touch back on later of it comes together) that I may be released of this pit stop sooner than later.
Keep moving forward friends,
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