As I write this it’s literally one week until I walk out the door of this room I’ve been renting and start once again what I’ve been trying to do since October 2009. To create a full time self supporting road-trip existence that allows me to “chase the light” and concentrate on creating the best photographs I can of the places, things and people that I find from day to day. It feels surreal, much like the previous two times did. This time however it feels like it’s the right time. It feels like I’ve done the work to give this the best chance of success.
My heart pounds with the excitement that I get to try again. I no longer fear any sort of failure because the fear of being stuck where I simply don’t belong is far greater. There are many roads out of this and into the next chapter, all I have to do is choose one. Which leads me to the next funny point. I still don’t know which direction to head first. I suspect at this point it will come down to the first coin toss of many, at the start of day one.
Yes I’m a bit nervous, yes I’m anxious. I’ve given up a decent paying 40 hour a week job to leave the foreseeable future in no other hands than my own.
I also feel confident that because I’ve done the work to be ready for this current kick at the can, it can work. Feeling that in my heart of hearts I’ve done everything I can possibly do. (Much more on all that later)
So after I finish today’s morning coffee I head over to the RV repair shop, pay my bill and pick up my tiny little vintage trailer and spend the next week finishing what I can to be prepared for an extended life on the road. By the time I stop at my first stop for that first road trip photograph, my mind and heart will be once again open to everything that can go right. And when the camera shutter opens again, I will be home.